Tuesday, October 21, 2008

nosce te ipsum

A friend of mine told me to start a blog, and I laughed it off saying what would I write in it and why would I put my thoughts out there for strangers to read?
I thought about it and I realized that I was afraid. Afraid to open up, something I've been struggling with lately. Afraid of what people might think of me. And to top it off I don't possess the crafty skills of composing beautiful pieces of writing.
But at the end of the conversation, I decided what the hell, why not? It's not like anyone is ever going to read this, and if they do then they are entitled to their own opinion. Besides maybe this will be good for me.
Lately I have been concentrating on myself, living my life to achieve the answer to a simple question who am I? This question was prompted by a latin phrase I read somewhere "nosce te ipsum" which means "know thyself," simple right? Except not.
I sit there sometimes wondering who I am? and why it is so difficult for me to answer that question. If someone asked me this question a year ago I'd say I'm a 19 year old Indian girl who is currently a student, but thats not me. I mean Im stil 19, and I'm still a student, it's just the Indian part I've been having trouble with, not that i'm not proud of my heritage. It's just I don't really know much about it, other than what my family has taught me through out the years. I get the feeling there is more to it than what my family has taught me so someday I have to go and discover the answer to that on my own. Being Indian is a part of me, but it definately in no way defines who I am.
Through the last couple of months, life has made me realize that I don't know myself anymore. I'm a stranger trapped in my own body. I'll do things or say things that are completely out of character for me, but I guess thats what life is a constant transition, a series of changes that we must go through to avoid a mundane and boring lifestyle.
Hopefully, someday I will have that comfort of knowing myself, and be able to go to sleep peacefully. I guess this is one of those things that that'll take me years to come up with the answer, if I ever can. If you know who you are, appreciate it, you're blessed with a gift that you dont know you had until it is taken away from you. And on that note I will stop my rambling.

1 comment:

Cherlaine said...

know thyself.

i'm glad you started a blog. it can certainly help outlet some feelings.

and this process of finding yourself...well everyone goes through it. just know that you have wonderful friends that can help you get through life.