Simple

I’m currently craving the simplicity that life has to offer.
I’m trying not to over complicate things by constantly thinking about them as I often do.
I am a thinker, as you may already know.
I’m trying to be strong,
I’m trying to smile like I do when I’m around you.
Being with you makes me happy,
Being with you makes me sad.
And when I’m with you,
My head resting on your shoulder,
I whisper three simple words into your ears,
It makes me feel euphoric.
Because no matter how fucked up we are
I know you feel the same way.

I’m trying not to get attached this time,
I’m trying to maintain my independent state of mind.
It’s difficult,
But for now it’s perfect.
I’m not ready to move any further,
Because I don’t want to be vulnerable,
I don’t want to be hurt.
I’m still afraid.
For now I just want to rest my head on your chest at night,
With your arms wrapped around me,
Your warm skin touching mine,
And fall asleep knowing that somehow,
We’ll always be there for each other.
Regardless of the roles we’ll play in each others lives,
It’ll always be as simple as that.
I’ll always be there for you,
And know you will do the same for me.

Sketches...I need a scanner

These are some of the random sketches that I did at work. Mainly because I was bored.

Good-bye my dear friend

As my insides blow apart,
I hold it all together,
Fake smile,
Like everything is fine.

Look inside,
And you will find
A soulless girl, laying there
Limp, motionless,
Tears rolling down her face

She says she doesn’t care,
She claims to not give a fuck.
But in reality she’s torn apart.
Without anyone left to trust.

People in and out of her life,
At their own convenience
This can’t be healthy she thinks.
But I miss them as well.
I miss laughing all night,
I miss the comfort of knowing you were always there.

She recalls the one time she needed her best friend,
Her best friend had left her stranded,
Alone and abandoned
I missed you for while,
I still do sometimes.

Now you want back in,
But I am too dead inside to care.
I’ve spent too many tears for your absence
For the void you left behind

I wish it didn’t happen like this,
But the truth is that it did,
And all I have left to say is
“Good-bye my dear friend,
I once held you close to my heart.
There is no more room for you there,
So I think it’s the time for us to part.”

I finally let it go...

Today was a very random day, for multiple reasons.
I decided I was too worn out to go work out today, so instead I had a huge bowl of ice cream, with chocolate syrup, and sprinkles...because I can.
For the past two days, whenever I get up I have this lost feeling, I almost wish I would stop dreaming because they are pointless and lately they have just been creeping me out. Some people say they wish they never remember their dreams, I wish I was one of them.
While I was studying, my dad walked into my room and flopped onto my bed, this alone was weird enough because my dad never really comes into my room. He just laid there and eventually I broke the silence and asked him if everything was alright? He looked at me with this sad look in his eyes, I noticed that how much he had aged in the past year from his gray hair to the wrinkles on his face. He simply stated that he was lonely, which caught me completely off guard because loneliness is an emotion I didn't even know my dad could experience. For the first time in 6 months I wanted to give my dad a hug because I loved him, we've had a pretty rocky relationship lately but before that I had always been my dad's little girl. He's changed, he's no longer as strong as he used to be, he's starting to become that cute little old man which is weird to me. At that very moment I realized that my dad doesn't have the group of friends he's had his whole life in India , he was very social, he gave all that up for us (me and my brother) and although he has had unrealistic expectations that I refuse to live up to, I still love him.
So today for the first time in months I hugged my dad because I felt like it, I got a little teary eyed, and although neither of us said it, I think we both realized that no matter what happens in the coming years, we will always love each other no matter what.